“All things are lessons God would have me learn.”
Our life is a classroom. The unfolding script of our life is a perfect backdrop for practicing forgiveness. “A Course in Miracles” teaches that “all things are lessons God would have me learn.” Our relationships and life circumstances present an opportunity for us to clear the blocks to true happiness.
Healing requires our willingness and focus. We must develop self-awareness and learn to check in.
How am I feeling in this moment? What thoughts am I thinking?
If I am at peace then I can simply enjoy the experience. But, if I am caught in negative emotions or negative thinking patterns then there is a block to inner peace and happiness. I have learned to turn toward the pain even though it can feel counter intuitive. I know that looking honestly at myself is the way to healing and freedom.
If I am alone and experiencing a block I will often practice present moment journaling. It is a way to honestly share, express and connect with my Inner Teacher. Healing requires that I stay with the uncomfortable feelings and acknowledge their presence. Instead of getting busy and distracted I open my journal, take some deep breaths and look upon the situation with my Inner Guide. Here is a present moment journalling entry I recorded:
Right now I have a very tight feeling in my chest and I feel unsettled. My breathing is shallow and I feel heavy. Pain permeates this moment and I finally decide to surrender and pay attention. I feel sad. I am watching and witnessing to everything arising in my experience right now. I am giving the pain permission to surface and be seen. I feel defeated. I feel tired. Waiting…. I take a very deep breath and sigh. Releasing….
Feelings of fear are rising up. I surrender and relax…. no more fighting the feelings. My wisdom lies in this moment. Everything I need for this moment is given to me. I ask my Inner Teacher (Holy Spirit) to take the lead in my mind and support me to release this grievance.
It’s early morning and the intense feeling rises up. It’s so uncomfortable! I’m holding on to something and I’m scared to let go. I’ve learned to be patient and compassionate with myself as I know I’m afraid. I can feel the block like a heavy concrete brick within my body. It takes up a large space and is being dislodged. The brick can shift around and I’m opening up to releasing it.
An image comes clear in my mind… It is a picture I have been holding of a person in my life. It is an image full of judgment towards that person. I have compared myself and used the image to feel superior. I feel guilt, anger and fear. I have hidden the judgments until very recently when an argument erupted. I was mean and defensive. Attack and defence are the main dictates of the ego. I feel guilt. I feel shame. I feel regret.
I’m getting ready to give the concrete block and all these images to the Holy Spirit. This is the only way this will truly heal. The images, the argument, the judgments, the stories, the attachments and the disappointments, the wish for it to be different, the control I want to maintain…. it all has to go to the Holy Spirit. Breathing…. allowing…. relaxing…. surrendering it all for forgiveness.
I am remembering a powerful forgiveness prayer from “A Course in Miracles.” I say it sincerely to myself.
I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the
consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me.
Present moment journalling is a catalyst for miracles! Our part in the healing process is to look with honesty at what we are feeling and thinking. We don’t have to fix the problem or figure it out. But we must play our part in releasing the grievance to our Inner Teacher. When we truly desire a new way of seeing we are given a new perception and a miracle replaces the grievance. The block to love’s presence is undone and happiness is restored.